Marriage or relationship is so fragile, and could be broken by any
little misunderstanding from either of the partners.To keep your marriage
going even in "bad weathers', here is a list of TIPS you can adopt.
1. Check yourself before you project yourself. When you start feeling upset
or resentful, stop to ask yourself what’s going on inside of yourself before
taking it out on the other person. Seriously, 99% of the time your issue
isn’t even with your partner; you’re just projecting something onto them.
A little self-reflection goes a long way.
2. Schedule some alone time. Make sure both of you are getting a little
time alone to relax and recharge: even 15 minutes can make a huge
difference. Also, if you tend be really social as a couple, make sure
to schedule alone time together (sounds like an oxymoron, but it’s not!)
as well, where you can just focus on each other without extra people around.
3. Wait til after dinner to turn the TV on. For awhile Nick and I
got in the habit of eating dinner while watching TV, and then
we’d keep watching TV after dinner, and it was possible to
go a whole evening without reallytalking to each other. Sad, right?
Now we eat dinner at the table and talk BEFORE heading to
the living room to zone out with “Parks and Rec.”
4. Shower together. If you’re both busy (and who isn’t?!),
showering as a couple can give you extra time to connect
without any distractions except some sexy soap lather.
5. Have all your important conversations face to face.
Or on the phone if face-to-face is absolutely impossible.
But never on IM or text or email. Communicating will be
clearer, more respectful, and more positive if you do it in
person. It also gives you the chance to touch or hold hands
during intense moments, which can change the course of
an entire interaction.
6. Never pass up the chance to cuddle. Physical affection
is so, so important in any intimate relationship, and in this
age of constant distractions, it sometimes takes a concerted
effort to make sure it happens frequently and meaningfully.
If your partner gives you a hug, take a second to lean into
their chest and enjoy that moment. Go to bed 15 minutes
earlier (or set your alarm 15 minutes earlier) to give yourselves
time to cuddle before you fall asleep or when you first wake up.
It’s the best way to start and end the day.
7. Don’t wait for special occasions like birthdays and Christmas
to buy or make each other little gifts. If you see a little something
that reminds you of your partner, get it for them. If you feel like
making them a special dinner, do it. One of my favorite sayings is
“Never resist a generous impulse,” and that is doubly true in romantic
relationships. It creates a feeling of spontaneity and generosity that lasts
all year long.
8. Switch up your routine. If you always lay in bed on Sunday morning,
go jogging instead. If you always go to happy hour on Thursdays,
stay in and make cocktails instead. Take turns planning surprise dates.
Switching up your routine keeps you on your toes as a couple and
helps prevent the worst enemy of romance: stagnancy.
9. Don’t ever put your partner down. This is so random, but I
remember reading a Reba McEntire interview in a dentist office
magazine many years ago and it kind of changed my life.
She was explaining the demise of her first marriage and said
something like, “We didn’t respect each other. If you don’t
have respect, you have nothing.” Preach, Reba! This advice is
so simple, and so true. Relationships often take on a negative
tinge as people get comfortable with each other. Playful teasing
can turn cruel. Cute habits become pet peeves. But it’s never too
late to change the script: make a vow to never put your partner
down–about the way they look, the way they live their lives,
their little quirks, anything.
10. Spend a minute looking at each other before bed. At the
end of yet another long, crazy day, it’s tempting to start snoring
as soon as you hit the pillow, but try to take a moment to face
each other and look into your partner’s eyes, really look. It’s
amazing how much closer this little exercise can make you feel.
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